Patience: Zero

“Step on the scale. We’ll take your weight.” “Should I take my shoes off?” “No.” I stood on the black platform at the base of the scale, eye-level with two parallel metal rails lined with numbers indicating pounds: 0-50. 0-350. I remember playing on a similar scale as a child - one my father had…

Better Never Than Late

I did it all late. Dating: late, to the extent that sitting against an amp on a never-vacuumed floor listening to a guy you might like but probably don’t, and his three friends try to “make it” as a band counts as a date. First kiss: 20. Lost my virginity: 23 or was it 24?…

No Child Left Behind, Only Rabbits

We packed the minivan for our trip. We were going on a family road trip. Something we never did, certainly not in March. Summer is the time for trips, not spring. If I had known how to spot a red flag at the age of nine, or what a red flag was, that would have…